Adam's Crappy Attempt

A bearded Saddam, who was not handcuffed, described himself as the "president of Iraq" according to footage broadcast from the courtroom with a delay of about 30 minutes, but refused to give his name. The presiding judge, Kurdish magistrate Rizkar Mohammed Amin, looking increasingly exasperated, said: "For the record, the witness refuses to give his name."

Ramadan was vice-president under Saddam from 1991 and one of his regime's "enforcers". Taking his lead from Saddam, Ramadan also defied the court, telling the judge only: "I repeat what president Saddam Hussein said."

Saddam's only regret may be that he'll never get the chance to kill this guy