___Catholic church seeks "Patron Saint of the Internet". For all those who want heavenly protection from spam, better quality free-porn, and an actual update for the the ACA, you might finally have someone to pray to.posted by Adam 1/31/2003 05:18:00 PM [this link] [email it]
1/29/2003
posted by Adam 1/29/2003 11:12:00 AM___
___The State of the Union Address Drinking Gameposted by Adam 1/29/2003 11:11:00 AM
Unfortunately, I didn't see anything here for "2 drinks if they show Hillary rolling her eyes"
___Girl Brings Crack for Show-and-Tellposted by Adam 1/29/2003 11:08:00 AM
notice the first line of this article: Yet "another case of a kid getting a parent in trouble".
1/23/2003
___Rodeo Monkeyposted by Adam 1/23/2003 12:06:00 PM
yes. I said RODEO MONKEY. he rides a dog and chases sheep. there's video.
oh... the rodeo monkey's name is Whiplash.
___posted by Adam 1/23/2003 12:04:00 PM
Hippos hooked on coke trample dead drug czar's animal ranch to find special "salt lick".
Does this come as a surprise to anyone!?! Certainly not the ACA Undercover News Team, which has been following these types of stories for months now. BUT IS ANYONE LISTENING???
Hippos attack drug lord estate
1/22/2003
___The ACA Publicity Department has recently learned that a search on Google for "Bagadada" (the weird Britney fanimutation that induces epileptic shock in 9.8 seconds) will result in a link to the ACA in the top 10 results. Finally! All that hard work has paid off... the ACA is finally getting some of that attention it's never deserved.posted by Adam 1/22/2003 12:10:00 PM
Google Search: bagadada
Now to capitalize, the ACA Promotions machine has been irrevocably set in motion... The first step was to rename the blog page to "GET BAGADADA HERE!".
Future changes may include Bagadada frisbees and such, but for the time being I'm asking all ACA interns to Badadad-ify their "content". The more Bagadadadingdong we got going on... the more unique hits we can get... and that translates into more bootay for the ACA, its subsidiaries and shareholders.
here's a breakdown of the keywords people search for on Google that brings up the ACA.
bagadada 49.99%
makai spear toss 17.37%
william shatner soundboard 14.99%
yatta animated 14.32%
weebl and bob shirts 2.67%
blogleft 0.66%
ACA 0.03%
___believe it or not, i actually do like Moby... but there is more unintentional comedy and disturbing imagery on his website than there is white space on the ACA.posted by Adam 1/22/2003 10:34:00 AM
Are your friends this cool?
Children! Don't go near this man.
posted by Adam 1/22/2003 09:32:00 AM___
1/21/2003
___Super Bowl Could Be Ruined By Killer Tree Attacksposted by Adam 1/21/2003 11:13:00 AM
Two-Towers themed half time show goes too far!
Oakland fans planning to riot feel one-upped.
(couldn't decide there)
1/16/2003
___Following its astounding success worldwide, I think that what the ACA really needs is a Phoenix 1000 Luxury Submarine.posted by Dave 1/16/2003 02:49:00 PM
1/15/2003
posted by Adam 1/15/2003 09:30:00 AM___
1/14/2003
___I've always wondered about this. Gotta love the author's bias free commentary on the subject.posted by Adam 1/14/2003 04:27:00 PM
How do courts swear in atheists?
1/13/2003
___These are the best! It's a complete list of Budweiser's Real Men of Genius / Real American Heroes.posted by Dave 1/13/2003 12:28:00 PM
1/10/2003
___hmmm.posted by Adam 1/10/2003 04:52:00 PM
Mintyass.com Sphincterine
I didn't get the starfish logo until i really really thought about it. Now, you're going to be sorry i said that.
1/07/2003
___posted by Adam 1/07/2003 04:24:00 PM
Need to get from Discount Lion Safari to the 99 cent Porno Store?
How about directions from the She-She Lounge to the Texas Cheesecake Depository.
Someone really put the time into this one. A complete map of Springfield with any location ever mentioned on the Simpsons! Stinkin Fish Realty. Sales from the Crypt Mortuary. Kentucky Fried Panda. Miss Tillingham's School for Snooty Girls and Mama's Boys. Ye Olde Off Ramp Inn. Crazy Vlaclav's Place of Automobiles. VHS Village (Formerly BETA Barn). Professor V. J. Cornucopia's Fantastic Foodmagorium & Great American Steakery. It's All Here!
map of springfield
___posted by Adam 1/07/2003 12:58:00 PM
Goddammit! it happened again! freaking junkie animals are taking over... i'm telling you. Drunken elephants! Rhinos hopped up on goofballs... and now this. Lions hooked on nicotine have developed a taste for tobacco workers. what the hell! you know there are coyotes loose in Waltham, MA these days. Better hope they don't like low carb beer.
Yahoo! News - Escaped Lions Devour Three Malawians
1/06/2003
___I was gonna email this, but then i said "hey! why not make it a public service announcement on the ACA?" so that's what i'm doing.posted by Adam 1/06/2003 10:54:00 AM
then again.. i guess it means no more telemarketing calls from ACA fundraisers too, huh.
Mass Office of Consumer Affairs - Do Not Call List Registry
1/03/2003
___This could possibly be one of the greatest jobs ever. (be careful - somewhat explicit)posted by Dave 1/03/2003 01:00:00 PM
