Adam's Crappy Attempt

2007-12-12T10:35:00.001-05:00

Figured this is the kind of time-wasting gold that was worth blowing the dust off my ACA account.

Virtual NES - play just about any Nintendo game online. This is one step easier from when I put a Nintendo emulator on my PC in college, and No-op kept beating me at Ice Hockey. But I did have a Baseball Stars team for the ages.

Overheard in New York | The Voice of the City

2007-09-27T10:57:00.000-04:00

Yuppie on cell: "I think because of the mental state I was in that really doesn't count as cheating. Plus, it was my birthday, so technically it never happened, therefore I didn't fuck up or do anything wrong, therefore nothing ever happened to begin with, therefore you have no reason to complain, therefore you are still my girlfriend."

Overheard in New York | The Voice of the City

YouTube - Erin Andrews

2007-09-20T20:02:00.000-04:00

Just like Kramer on the Merv Griffin set, we've reached rock bottom. So its time for a new format. I bring you ESPN reporter Erin Andrews.

I wonder what she could do with that microphone

Love the kid from Iowa at the end of the vid

2007-09-14T13:26:00.000-04:00

I know. I know. No one even remembers the ACA anymore.

I just couldn't think of a better place to post this article on what is accepted as art today.

I'm pretty sure that we could give Adam $22 and he could develop 143 exhibits with this sort of "artistic talent" (read as: mockery of everyone that pays to view art).

2007-07-18T21:04:00.000-04:00

The ACA lives! As proved by the fact that I, once again, performed cardiac caths in my ACA tshirt.

Plus, this:

Newsday was doing this thing called Mustache Madness.

Basically, you can see what it came down to here.

And, the winner got into it.

And, then this...

www.myspace.com/kristalynnlandolfi

2007-06-21T00:38:00.000-04:00

This is no joke. Burlington has a serious prostitution problem. We're infested. I have attached the myspace of This Hookah! to the once proud ACA website.

Whats the big deal you say? She was an actress in holiday 10 years ago having small parts in The Truman Show and Breast Men.

2007-05-25T14:00:00.001-04:00

Some more examples of the ridiculous lawsuits that exist in this country: Suing... America's Favorite Pastime. Hopefully the parents involved in these lawsuits got hit by a truck.

As a side note, the front page of the ACA on today's click said that the CD release of "Stayin' True to Selling out" got pushed back from 2005 to late 2007. Does that mean we can expect the release in the next few months?

Robert Goulet's Official Website

2007-05-17T14:31:00.000-04:00

Just digging through the ol' ACA archives. I don't care if this is old... it's still funny.

25 magical years of Robert Goulet's Christmas cards

ps. no, the ACA is not dead. you're dead. welcome to the afterlife. if you're not seeing any new posts... you must be in hell.

NewsDaily: Entertainment -- Don Ho turns 76

2007-04-15T08:55:00.000-04:00

Sadly, Don Ho has died. He died on 4/14/07. While trying to find the story, I came across an article from August 2006 celebrating his birthday

Read a bit of the article but then glance at the sidebox for the "related headlines".

That is all

FOXNews.com - Snoop Dogg 'Clarifies' Use of the Word 'Ho' - John Gibson | Judge Napolitano | John Gibson | Big Story Weekend

2007-04-12T10:52:00.000-04:00

There's so much to appreciate about this headline.

FOXNews.com - Snoop Dogg 'Clarifies' Use of the Word 'Ho'

LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD on Yahoo! Movies

2007-04-04T14:53:00.000-04:00

I dont care if it sucks. I cant wait to see This Movie!

I think the only movie I would want to see more would be Back to the Future IV.

And by the way, where are all you people?!?!

Home is where the heart is for world's tallest man - Yahoo! News

2007-03-28T09:17:00.000-04:00

Can you say....

...Bite Height

EBAUMSWORLD - Funny Pictures, Hilarious Videos, Flash Games and Jokes

2007-03-16T01:06:00.000-04:00

Sometimes ya just gotta

Take matters into your own hands

Woof

Report: Bundchen pregnant by Brady? - The Boston Globe

2007-03-08T13:36:00.000-05:00

The Man!

At least his kids will get to grow up together

YouTube - Police Answering Machine

2007-02-27T23:25:00.000-05:00

Not That Funny

I'm just posting this out of principle....and the site has been dead.

2007-02-27T18:39:00.000-05:00

The new sensation hitting the interweb!

Bodhi Wars is coming!

Web Site Report For adamscrappyattempt.com

2007-02-27T15:27:00.000-05:00

You never know when a little thing will pay off big! That's what I realized last night when I hung up the phone after telling a disappointed somebody that the ACA won't be having BINGO night anymore because it's been discontinued due to poor turnouts.

Let me just say... no one on the other end of the phone has ever asked, "Um, hello... Is this ACA??".

and then followed that up with... "Are you doing BINGO tonight??"

But that's what happened. Apparently if you google/maps BINGO in this state the ACA comes up first. Apparently I set that up once. oh yeah...

um, there were categories too.

Search Query
1. dim sum
2. buffet
3. buffets
4. bingo hall
5. aca boston
6. bingo
7. bingo woburn ma
8. reading massachusetts buffet
9. aca
10. buffet near stoneham ma
11. buffet restaurants
12. danvers ma dim sum
13. buffet restaurant weston ma
14. psychics
15. dim sum near arlington ma
16. bingo games
17. dim sum somerville ma
18. china buffet
19. bingo danvers ma
20. bingo games in watertown ma
21. bingo in boston ma
22. bingo halls
23. dim sum buffet
24. woburn ma buffet

I guess no one's looking for pony rides.

Search for "BINGO"

2007-02-19T17:05:00.000-05:00

This is going to be a little hard to believe... but in lieu of any new posts I'm breaking out a little ORIGINAL content.

All part of the ACA's big plan to be as all over the place as possible.

Some might argue that this kind of Flash stuff seems WAAAY too snappy for the ACA...
not even close to "Crappy".

To that I say... give it time.

Flash Trivia Game

max score = 340... see what you can do.

oh... and there's a hidden easter egg in there, if you can find it.

2007-02-06T20:54:00.000-05:00

Never happened to me

There will be sound, just hang in there. I love the song playing on the radio in the background.

2007-01-30T08:18:00.000-05:00

I know that everyone out there is feeling great sadness about the passing of Barbaro (BTW... I will be out of the ACA office for a few weeks on bereavement leave), but at least you can leave your thoughts and prayers in the Barbaro guestbook.

2007-01-25T21:43:00.001-05:00

I don't know why, but somewhere along the line i must have clicked the wrong button or pissed off the wrong I.T. guy because the ACA got changed to some fancy "NEW" blogger version and now i don't know how to get it back. A few things that suck about this is that you have to have a gmail account now to be an intern and post. (Don't worry... you can still wax my escalade without the account). The other thing is that there's like a million bugs with this thing, unless i'm just doing it wrong... so there's gonna be some weird looking stuff here and there that will, for once, make the ACA look like a less than professional operation. I'd like to say that's just a temporary thing, but you know better. Also.. it would seem that the old version of comments doesn't really jive with this new stuff they got going on. so i'm forced to default to blogger comments, which... are more or less the same thing... just a little more annoying in no particularly specific way.

a couple possible good things, though... if i can get them to work. apparently you can categorize posts meaning that if you actually were to post something... it would be something like: "HEY! here's my post, here's the link, and oh.. by the way... this is a [SNAPPY] post". or maybe more like "Hey! Steve Buschemi is watching me poop! stevebuschemiiswatchingmepoop.com - Category: [CELEBRITIES WHO ARE OBSESSED WITH POOP]. i see amazing probability of for all kinds of user abuse with this thing, and... yeah, i'm fine with that.

other than that... sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you for choosing the ACA.

2007-01-25T21:43:00.000-05:00

I think this is what it's like to be inside Mike's brain.

Ironic Sans: Every ad in Times Square

ACA Ray Gun

2007-01-25T13:08:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the ACA's new ray gun, we are now the ultimate power in the universe! If you happen to feel a funny sensation like you're about to burst into flames while you're walking in my line of sight, don't worry... they say it's non-lethal.

Whew

2007-01-11T16:39:00.000-05:00

I didnt read this, but seriously.....whew

Best Laugh Ever - ebaumsworld.com

2007-01-09T00:16:00.000-05:00

The guy in the middle steals the show

What a laugh

2007-01-08T09:04:00.000-05:00

Here's a fun game. I have figured a couple things out if anyone wants to discuss. http://www.rubytooth.com/media/55935/

Adam's Crappy Attempt

2007-01-04T13:45:00.000-05:00

It's quick... it's dumb... it's suitable for the ACA... it's The Smart or Stoopid Test.

I scored a 26.

Cool Patriotic Stuff

2007-01-04T00:15:00.000-05:00

Everyone knows I'm kinda heartless, but just as i was about to X this out I hung in there and enjoyed the short 2 minute version of God Bless America by John Wayne

BTW Is Barbaro still alive?

Breast Test II

2007-01-04T00:11:00.000-05:00

I'm a natural

I got 18 out of 20

Harpoon Lagoon

2006-12-27T16:40:00.000-05:00

Did i post this before?? I forget. exellent game, and stupid addicting! i have this thing down to a system. but once you buy the harpoon it's all over.

Harpoon Lagoon

Greatest Fight Scene Ever

2006-12-27T16:38:00.000-05:00

this is brilliant film making... everything from the slowmotion fists to the face, to the subtle use of "hiya"s, to the final climax of getting raised off the ground by a hook in the eye.

Greatest Fight Scene Ever

My Outsourced Life

2006-12-20T12:29:00.000-05:00

Man, I am so all over this!

My Outsourced Life

ACA Comic #17

2006-12-20T10:24:00.000-05:00

ACA Comic #16

2006-12-19T09:32:00.000-05:00

ACA Comic #15

2006-12-18T08:56:00.000-05:00

only about 3 more left... for now.

ACA Comic #14

2006-12-15T10:06:00.000-05:00

I don't know about this Mick character...

Verizon Doesn't Know How To Count

2006-12-14T20:39:00.000-05:00

another one of those customer support call transcripts.
the verizon people are absolute morons.

Verizon Doesn't Know How To Count

ACA Comic #13

2006-12-14T09:27:00.000-05:00

the ACA and Momentum. Words you just naturally associate.

ACA Comic #12

2006-12-13T08:29:00.000-05:00

ACA Comic #11

2006-12-12T10:42:00.000-05:00

oh, that crazy Intern Mick.

ACA Comic #10

2006-12-11T08:16:00.000-05:00

good news... I renewed adamscrappyattempt.com for another ful year (basically another 11 posts).

bad news... i quit before i finished setting it up.
so for the next few days come straight here (acalinks.blogspot.com) for all your ACA needs.

ACA Comic #9

2006-12-08T09:47:00.000-05:00

ACA Comic #8

2006-12-07T08:50:00.000-05:00

Welcome back Matt!

Seinfeld Lost Episode

2006-12-05T14:45:00.000-05:00

Good Old Kramer.

ACA Comic #7

2006-12-05T11:50:00.000-05:00

ACA Comic #6

2006-12-05T11:42:00.000-05:00

there is no secret code!

ACA Comic #5

2006-12-04T09:09:00.000-05:00

ACA Comic #4

2006-12-01T09:13:00.000-05:00

New comic for today... (who actually believed THAT would happen???)

ok, that's it til monday.

(click to enlarge)

Uncyclopedia

2006-11-30T12:35:00.000-05:00

the Onion meets Wikipedia.com

Uncyclopedia

ACA Comic

2006-11-30T10:35:00.000-05:00

What's going on at the ACA these days, you ask??? What ISN'T??

Seriously. Every day, we continue to push the envelope, stretch the dollar, and amaze even ourselves.

And just when you think there's too much to handle, we come at you with something new!

Here's a little offering you might like. A crappy little attempt at a comic strip about the daily goings ons around the ACA. There are about 20 in all, at the moment, so here's 3 to tease your interest. New ones will go up each day, or whenever we remember. Feel free to drop suggestions for new ones at acamail@gmail.com

enjoy! (click to enlarge)

Adam's Crappy Attempt

2006-11-16T09:39:00.000-05:00

Looking for a great children's gift this holiday season? How about the Dora the Explorer Aquapet?

Naked man arrested for concealed weapon

2006-11-07T13:46:00.000-05:00

ok, you got my attention...

Naked man arrested for concealed weapon

first 4 minutes of Borat: The Movie

2006-10-24T18:55:00.000-04:00

After seeing the Borat official movie site, what've I been wasting my time on this ACA for?

make click here

The 4 first minutes of Borat: The Movie

2006-10-14T23:17:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure what to do with this, but it should be something cool.

Super Mario Bros Audiosound Super-Synthesizer

Whatta ya know!

2006-10-11T22:16:00.000-04:00

We've been aquired by Google... Whatta ya know!

As this video shows... YouTube's founders are complete dorks. No, I'm not bitter just because (as Bob pointed out) YouTube is really just a ripoff of the ACA (only with video). Anyway... watching this clip makes me glad I never sold out to Google. These guys suck.

Adam's Crappy Attempt

2006-10-11T15:00:00.000-04:00

Have a friend who likes The Office? Brighten up his day with a phone call from Dwight Schrute.

Adam's Crappy Attempt

2006-10-10T14:48:00.000-04:00

What is the best way for the head of the ACA to prevent complete anarchy at the ACA now that he can't access it at work? Customized motivational posters! Go to MotivationalBuck.com and create your own! While you're there, check out the Top 60 - some great ones in there.

Adam's Crappy Attempt

2006-10-06T09:26:00.000-04:00

Adam's Crappy Attempt

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AC/DC TNT

2006-09-06T22:38:00.000-04:00

My new favorite way to procrastinate: Go on YouTube and watch people do terrible covers of awesome songs.

Today: AC/DC's TNT

First, watch them play it.

Then, watch crap like this (I mean, SERIOUSLY, I bet even *I* can play better than this).

Or, if you want a really bad metal version of it. (P.S. - Your shirt is from Target.. I know, b/c I couldn't find one in my size)

This acoustic version may be the best of the lot.. at least they look like they're having fun.

And this is definitely the worst of all. He can't even tune his guitar, but at least his hair is awesome. Also, eat some food.

And, there are so many, many more. Find your own favorite!

See Something? Say Something

2006-09-01T12:55:00.000-04:00

A questionable new campaign no NYC subways to make people aware of their surroundings.

See Something? Say Something

Army helmet test

2006-09-01T10:46:00.000-04:00

Ever wonder what a soldier does for fun during a war?

Well, here's proof that he may be testing his helmet...

I dont know how to blog anymore

2006-08-25T17:01:00.000-04:00

http://www.ktvu.com/video/9591734/index.html?taf=fran

Just view this fantastic video about how politics suck

ACA on the MAP

2006-08-24T10:26:00.000-04:00

Going to any ACA sponsored events in the near future but not sure how to get there???

just google it... for real!!

Google Maps: "ACA HQ"

2006-08-22T10:04:00.000-04:00

Enjoy reading sports articles, but sick of those pesky writers who actually have a clue about sports other than basketball outside of New England? Then the Sports Guy is definitely for you.

With Write your very own Sports Guy Column, you can get all the enjoyment of every Sports Guy article without having to wait the 50 minutes for espn.com to load.

BLANKS on a BLANK

2006-08-15T14:30:00.000-04:00

Inspired by the sure to be classic, "Snakes on a Plane", comes the filmmaking challenge that takes this concept to the next level. What could be scarier than Snakes on a Plane???

how about

Tarantulas on a Hovercraft!

Fish on a Popemobile!

or Penquins on a Seqway!

check out these movies at BLANKS on a BLANK

The Interweb in 1996

2006-08-12T05:08:00.000-04:00

Did you know ... more than 11 miles of thread holds the giant Arch Deluxe burger in place. Period.

This was back when The Interweb was awesome because my parents couldn't use it and I had a modem that made funny noises.

2006-08-10T13:15:00.000-04:00

What is a "Kitler" you ask? It's a cat that looks like Hitler... disturbing and adorable all at the same time! Witness this yawn-inducing phenomenon at catsthatlooklikehitler.com, and you can see side-splitting hilarity like this:

Does your cat look like Adolf Hitler? Do you wake up in a cold sweat every night wondering if he's going to up and invade Poland? Does he keep putting his right paw in the air while making a noise that sounds suspiciously like "Sieg Miaow"? If so, this is the website for you..

2006-08-10T13:12:00.000-04:00

Some fool once said that money cannot buy happiness. What a silly goose! Thanks to the internet, you can buy happiness and other emotions at BuySomeHappiness.com.

SOLID ROCK CHURCH

2006-08-09T11:03:00.000-04:00

No church rocks harder than SOLID ROCK CHURCH, or SRC as I like to call it. And no tie rocks harder than the Bish's tie. No choir rocks harder than the FIRE CHOIR, pictured here.

But NOTHING rocks harder than the THIS!

until you find out that the 62 foot, 16,000 pound Jesus statue is not so much "solid rock" but more actually "a wood and styrofoam sculpture over a steel framework anchored in concrete. This is covered with a fiberglass mat and resin exterior."

LAME.

2006-08-08T21:54:00.000-04:00

World's Longest Ear Hair

"God has been very kind to me."

Umm, yeah..

fortunes for your cootie catcher

2006-08-08T13:24:00.000-04:00

because we could all use more of these...

fortunes for your "cootie catcher".

...is it really called that?

Yellow Deloreans

2006-08-08T13:12:00.000-04:00

Just what it says...

Yellow Deloreans

Comic Sans War Wages On

2006-08-08T13:05:00.000-04:00

The comic sans font is everywhere... it must be stopped.

fortunately the nice people at BanComicSans.com are selling tshirts and stickers to fight this problem.

please note... this is quite different from the Comic Sans Appreciation Society, where you can also buy stickers and tshirts.

Google map hacks

2006-08-04T09:32:00.000-04:00

Shut off from my supply of aca-oriented type links i'm being forced to resort to something almost "useful". sorry for the drought, but where the rest of you at??

people have been hacking google maps a lot for their own twisted gain. here are a few.

this thing shows where planes are on a map in real time. nice for when you're sitting in the airport and feel like counting near misses. google maps flight tracker

lets you draw lines on the map to figure our how far it is from point A to B. or if you're so inclined... point C. google maps pedometer

see if the road map matches up with the satellite map. i always wondered about this.
google maps transparencies

and you can make your own
one of these things too... ACA "hot or not" coming soon.

Is this the way I hafta do this

2006-07-22T08:39:00.000-04:00

The comedy is over

jacksonpollock.org

2006-07-20T08:57:00.000-04:00

make a squiggle... print it out... sell it for millions... repeat.

just like jacksonpollock.org

unintentional URLs

2006-07-18T13:55:00.000-04:00

sad that these actually exist. then again... if the ACA did something like this, think of all the publicity!

Unintentional URLs

pop translator

2006-07-18T09:47:00.000-04:00

Everything in pop music sounds moronic when you hear it through a translator.

Especially Sean Paul...

pop translator

2006-07-16T11:29:00.000-04:00

Now all the fat people who, for some reason, need barbed wire necklaces and dragon's head earrings finally (finally!) have a place to go: GothicPlus.com!!

I'm not sure how I stumble upon this stuff.

World Cup Head Butt

2006-07-13T15:03:00.000-04:00

this is from Bob.

get's old in about 2.8 seconds, but no one's ever made a headbutting soccer game until now. World Cup Head Butt

i'm sure someone out there is working on a Big Dig Tunnel racing game.

2006-07-02T21:53:00.000-04:00

I dont know why I didnt post this a while ago as this is like a week old now. Cancelling AOL. You DEF need to listen to the audio of this. I think we can all feel the guy's pain.

45000 bottle rockets

2006-07-01T08:35:00.000-04:00

Shock and Awe your back yard. Happy 4th.

45000 Bottle Rockets

Fool Caller ID

2006-07-01T08:27:00.000-04:00

The possibilities for evil here are endless. Come up on caller ID as any name and number you want. Then have a recording say whatever you want. ACA telemarketing is resorting to this now that people know enough not to pick up.

Phone Trick

Itchy and Scratchy Episodes

2006-06-07T09:42:00.000-04:00

all classics...

Itchy and Scratchy Episodes

Bas Rutten

2006-06-05T19:35:00.000-04:00

Great quotes from Bas Rutten's Self defense video.

Right away you say, "Okay, I'm sorry" BANG BANG BANG "No, I'm not"

"Stab in the liver"

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I'm going to break your leg"

"I don't believe in an eye for an eye, I believe in TWO eyes for an eye"

Damn, maybe I should change Mr. Bodhi's name to Bas

robot cell phone dance off

2006-06-05T15:58:00.000-04:00

Be the motorola RAZR and battle the SLVR in a robot cell phone dance off. a game idea no one needed to come up with.

More damaging for recruitment than Maurice Clarrett:

2006-06-01T15:13:00.000-04:00

I'm glad Carl Monday doesn't have access to my overnight call room.

Air Arabia

2006-06-01T12:45:00.000-04:00

Uhhh, why are Air Arabia's promotional cartoon figures just tan faced South Park characters??

Batwoman is gay?

2006-05-31T18:31:00.000-04:00

First of all, there's a Bat WOMAN? What the??

Second of all, why is she gay, exactly? Sure, they can spin it as trying to open our minds to other lifestyles or something something but I'm pretty sure they just think that this will sell more comic books to young boys who fantasize about things like hot lesbians.

Rabbits rabbit everywhere

2006-05-30T19:29:00.000-04:00

This website gives you a new random picture of someone's cute bunny everytime you hit refresh! Yay!

Now I understand why people want to eat bunnies like Toby (ahhh, Toby, how we miss you.. both the bunny and the intern.. unless you're one and the same)

Ninja Burger: Honorable Employee Handbook

2006-05-30T15:07:00.000-04:00

After careful consideration of the cash that Oprah is raking in with that book club scam, I think it's time we started an ACA Book Club. and first one up is definitely The Ninja Burger: Honorable Employee Handbook

Google Yankees vs Red Sox

2006-05-30T07:10:00.000-04:00

Using Google Labs (whaaa?) you can compare how often two words are being searched for. Here's the take on Yankees vs. Red Sox. Pretty much dead even. Big surprise.

It also finally puts to rest the whole Lindsey Lohan vs Hillary Duff thing. You may be surprised.

This thing is awesome; the combinations are endless.

Jodi Foster U Penn

2006-05-28T22:04:00.000-04:00

You're graduating from U Penn. Ivy League, Baby. AND, it's the 250th commencement.. even sweeter. PLUS, they brought Jodi Foster in for the commencement speech! Man, you've got the World in the palm of your hand.

And then Jodi starts rapping.

Aaron Ralston

2006-05-25T11:35:00.000-04:00

Aaron Ralston is The Man.

And here's a guy telling us we can ALL be The Man if we think more like Aaron Ralston.

Mr. Cool Ice

2006-05-25T11:16:00.000-04:00

Some ridiculous tatoos. I think "Mr. Cool Ice" takes it.

Harlan McCraney, Presidential Speechologist

2006-05-25T10:18:00.000-04:00

Andy Dick as Harlan McCraney, the genius behind George W. Bush's stupidity.

Harlan McCraney, Presidential Speechologist

Tom Hanks is the president of the National Organization for Women??

2006-05-25T08:46:00.000-04:00

Dude... Tom Hanks is the president of the National Organization for Women??

Mt Everest

2006-05-24T23:28:00.000-04:00

How can a gay man climb Mt Everest?

Oh, thank God, he can't.

Brad Pitt will boot your ass out of Africa

2006-05-24T14:39:00.000-04:00

this is some serious power...

Foreign journalists wanting to cover the birth must have written permission from the Hollywood stars to enter the country, and anyone who doesn't have their OK could be expelled, the Namibian government has said.

Brad Pitt will boot your ass out of Africa

this Barbaro thing

2006-05-23T09:37:00.000-04:00

Is it just me... or is this Barbaro thing waaay out of control?

"Thousands of e-mails, hundreds of phone calls and gifts including carrots and apples have arrived at the veterinary facility in Pennsylvania where Barbaro is recovering from surgery"